Hello- This is Hidimba speaking

Hello All. I am Hidimba from the Mahabharata. I am called Hidimbi too. You know out of love. Just like Meena is called Mini or Eliza is called Lizzie. I am Hidimba aka Hidimbi.

Since I am mentioned just in passing in the great epic; I might as well introduce myself. I am a queen, both by birth and by marriage. I and my elder brother inherited the forest kingdom from our parents. You must be wondering which forest I am talking about. Well, some say that I am from Manali, current Himachal Pradesh, courtesy the temple in my name that stands there. Some say I am from Dimapur, current Nagaland, because Dimapur was earlier called Hidimbapur. Let my location remain a mystery, I honestly do not care where you think I am from. I am an Indian, that is all that matters.

I am the eldest Pandava daughter-in-law. I married Bhima the second son of Kunti. Kunti had five sons, all got married and many of them got married multiple times. But I put on record that ours was the only wedding that Kunti personally attended.

She was a shrewd lady, my mother-in-law. I was a simple forest girl; I had never learnt to hide my emotions under veils of diplomacy. She quickly assessed that I had fallen for Bhima. Considering that they were alone, shelterless, defenseless and hungry, she knew I would be of great use to them. Bringing them food, protecting them against predators and giving them shelter. She asked Bhima to marry me. Bhima had always been a sweet-heart- obeying his mother and obeying his wife. By wife I mean Draupadi not me! She would always appeal to him whenever she felt wronged, and he would avenge her insult. Right from slaying Keechaka in the Matsya kingdom to breaking the rules of the Mace War at Kurukshetra to break Duryodhana’s thighs; he has done it all for her.

Sometimes I feel so envious of this Draupadi! She is so celebrated in the Mahabharata; everything seems to be about her. I just remained the forest belle or rather forest demoness, never the Pandava queen or even a Pandava wife. Everyone conveniently forgot that I was the eldest and hence meant to be the queen.  

The only time I got some respect was as Ghatotkacha’s mother. Ghatotkach-my son, my darling, my baby! I raised him to be a warrior like his father. Not a lazy bum like his uncle, my brother. My brother was blessed with a huge amount of brute strength but did not lift a finger. I would be the one scouting the forest for food, bringing him his next meal. He was such a foodie- he would whine all day if the food I brought for him was not enough or was not tasty. The day, he sent me to get the Pandava family is etched in my memory. We just had a fight as he did not like the meat, I had brought for him. I told him I am tired; I am not going out again. But he was insistent- he emotionally blackmailed me to go out and get the Pandava family for him to eat. He said they smelt very tasty.

I reached the spot and was taken aback by the sight! A well-built man was on guard while his family slept. I instantly fell for that man. Not because he was handsome but because he seemed to care so much for his family. Unlike my brother who sent his sister out to the depths of the forest at odd hours of the night to get food. I just could not bring myself to harm that family.

You all might have read that I turned into a beautiful maiden to lure Bhima. All that is just a bunch of made-up stories. I am a simple girl, not a sorceress. I did not perform any transformation tricks on myself. I just stood there and stared at him. After a while he felt my glance on him and looked back. We started chatting. And that was all. My brother, tired of waiting came over and was shocked to see me chatting away with his prospective meal. He was so angry that he came to hit Bhima. My brother might be big, but all these years of sitting and eating had turned him into a sloth. Bhima was agile on his feet and within no time he had pinned my brother down and killed him. Before I realized what was happening my bro was dead! Despite everything I loved my brother. I was miserable at the sight of his mangled dead body.

All this commotion woke up Bhima’s brothers and his mom. And the rest is history!

Coming back to Ghatotkacha. My mother-in-law had made a deal with me that Bhima would leave me and follow them as soon as I got pregnant. I did not weigh the implications of this deal and said yes. We forest people are always true to our word. We do not say something and mean something else- No “Aswathama Dead…………Oh he was an elephant” kind of thing for us.

With a huge belly, I bid my husband goodbye. I did not cry, I did not ask him to take care of me, or even to come back to me later once his family was stable. Heart of hearts I knew I would not hear from him again.

But strangely I did hear from him again! Courtesy Krishna. When they were looking for someone to take the brunt of Karna’s Indra weapon which was meant for killing Arjuna, Krishna reminded Bhima that he had a demon son! And that was when my darling son Ghatotkacha was called to the war. A war he had nothing to do with. A war he did not even know was being fought. And he martyred in that war, saving his uncle from Karna’s weapon by taking it on his chest!

I have been told I should be proud that I have borne such a wonderful son. A son who sacrificed his life for his father and his family’s fight for Dharma! Of course, I am proud. But I am a mother, and I cannot help asking if he was given a good farewell. How grandly they conducted Abhimanyu’s funeral! I heard Arjuna was inconsolable for days. I heard the entire family wept on Abhimanyu’s martyrdom. Lines and lines are written in the Mahabharata on Abhimanyu’s death and final farewell.  I wonder if Ghatokacha’s  father or if anyone even shed a few tears for him.

I miss my son. I weep for him. My Ghatotkacha- the eldest of the Pandava sons. Would he have been considered for the throne had he not been a demoness’ son? I ask the forest, the animals, the birds, the insects, the trees, the streams the lakes. They say they do not know- for them everyone is alike be it man or demon. The forest does not differentiate. The forest does not discriminate. Only humans do.

This is Hidimba, signing off.