It is a cold dank day with the sky the color of a soiled mop. The doorbell rings. And rings again, jolting me from my painkiller induced groggy sleep. I pull myself out of bed and answer the door. My cook is there telling me he is off to his village right now and needs an advance. He already has an outstanding advance I tell him. He gives me a lot of calculation until he feels I am convinced. I marvel at his math knowledge and pay him!
I need a dash of caffeine first; I decide, as I put the water to boil. The better half is sitting at his coveted position on the sofa with his newspaper and looks at me with coffee expectant eyes. My tap at the bottom is on full swing and Satan is personally twisting a knife inside my uterus. I give him a tight smile, hand him his cuppa and start drinking mine in the kitchen, while making breakfast. ‘Why don’t you rub some almond oil on your stomach? It cures menstrual cramps,’ calls out the better half without moving an inch. ‘Sure, I will. Once I am done with the cooking and the business review,’ I reply, popping another painkiller.
The better half never ceases to amaze me with his knowledge. From curing menstrual cramps, to the best position for breast-feeding, he knows it all. I feel blessed to have him in my life!
I reach office and find my usual parking already occupied. As I maneuver the car into a tight parking spot, a guard rushes to my assistance. ‘Right, right, now left, straight, reverse,’ he directs as he moves his hands on a phantom steering wheel. Do I follow him or my years of muscle memory. Feeling confused, I stop, hand him the keys and ask him to park my car. ‘I don’t know driving, Madam,’ he informs me. Wow! This man is a genius. Not able to drive but has the knowledge on how best to park.
The business review goes well, and lunch time arrives. I have no appetite and hardly eat. My boss notices. ‘Dieting ha? You should diet under supervision. And also exercise. Both should go hand in hand. You see this smart watch? It keeps track of all my movements. Get one for yourself and you will be in the best of shape,’ he says, biting into an oily chicken leg, his potbelly rhythmically shaking with his chewing . I nod in assent. I am so thoroughly impressed by his all-round knowledge!
I drag my tired self home. The better half’s cousin has dropped in. I order dinner and the cousin describes the recipes of all the items we eat. I am astounded at his knowledge. Though I have seen him cook only watery lentils and the occasional fries, he sure knows the mechanics of cooking such complicated dishes!
It has been a cold dank day with the sky the color of a soiled mop. My mood is the same color of the sky as I pop another painkiller in a bid to stop Satan from twisting a knife inside my uterus!
Bashari Chakraborti's Blog 
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