Ant-icipation of an Inclusive Era

Once upon a time in a bustling ant colony, there lived a mighty ant named LeadAnt. Fresh off a triumphant victory in the PresidAnt election, LeadAnt had promised to usher in a new era of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. With grand declarations of leading from the heart, LeadAnt assured the populAnts that their voices would finally be heard.

To celebrate the win, LeadAnt threw a lavish dinner, inviting every ant in the colony to witness the unveiling of its cabinAnt of ministers.

Ants who had never dared to fill out nomination forms—like DivergAnt, DifferAnt, and DisparAnt—were suddenly inspired by LeadAnt’s lofty promises and filled out the forms. “Maybe this time,” they thought, “we’ll actually be considered for the CabinAnt!”

The dinner was a spectacle of grandeur. LeadAnt greeted everyone with a smile and a shake of the antennae. The populAnts leaned in, whispering, “What a wonderfully inclusive leader!”—because nothing says inclusivity quite like a giant table where only the tallest ants can comfortably dine. Meanwhile, the smaller ants struggled to hoist themselves up, proving that equity is just a matter of having the same size table for all!

After the sugar loaded eight-course meal, LeadAnt stood up to deliver a speech.

It was then that the populAnts noticed the familiar faces surrounding LeadAnt: CompliAnt, ObediAnt, SubserviAnt, and SycophAnt.

“Surely, they can’t be the only ones in the new cabinAnt,” they mused, clinging to the hope that LeadAnt’s self-proclaimed inclusivity would extend beyond the usual suspects.

After all, LeadAnt had a robust online presence, with articles on Diversity and Inclusion flooding the social media, LinkedAnt. The populAnts were convinced that this time, the overlooked would finally get their moment in the spotlight.

Take StammerAnt, for instance—a brilliant mind whose genius was often lost in translation due to its tendency to take forever to finish a thought. Or ReticAnt, whose brilliant ideas were stifled by shyness, overshadowed by the loudmouths who dominated the conversation.

LeadAnt droned on, asking the populAnts to voice their concerns. StammerAnt stood up. “The holes in our anthill that are no longer in use must be cl-l-l-losed. I-I-I-It is ge-ge-getting d-d-dangerrr-”

LeadAnt’s brow furrowed, clearly uninterested. “Yeah, yeah, but those holes are non-issues. What really matters is how to grow our anthill!” And just like that, StammerAnt’s moment was snuffed out.

ReticAnt, gathering all the courage it could muster, attempted to chime in about the redundant holes, but its voice was drowned out by LeadAnt’s booming announcement: “Now, let’s reveal the new CabinAnt! Surprise, surprise—it’s CompliAnt, ObediAnt, SubserviAnt, and SycophAnt! Let’s give them a big hand!”

“But we filled out the forms, LeadAnt!” cried DivergAnt, DifferAnt, and DisparAnt. “You should really give us a chance.”

For a moment, LeadAnt was taken aback, as if it had just discovered that ants could, in fact, speak up. Who knew the marginalized sections of the colony had opinions? But being the polished ant it was, LeadAnt quickly brushed off this unexpected uprising like a crumb on its little exoskeleton.

Turning to face the rebels, it said, “Oh, absolutely! You’re always on my mind. I want nothing but the best for you. In fact, the first event the new CabinAnt will organize is Inclusion Day, and guess what? You three are in charge! Under the ever-watchful eye of the CabinAnt, of course.” LeadAnt flashed a tight smile. “I’m sure you’re thrilled!”

With that, LeadAnt pivoted back to the populAnt gathering and bellowed, “Thank you all for coming, dear ants! Now, let’s get back to work. We need to get the title of best colony.”

And so, LeadAnt continued to lead, not so much with heart as with the sound of its own buzz, and a couple of Inclusion Days and Listening Days tossed in for good measure.